The Power of Scheduling What is Important
Since the start of my professional career, I have had jobs with more to do than there is time in the day. So, I learned early that rigorous scheduling is a key tool for success. Then I discovered that important things needed to be scheduled first.
Armed with these two lessons, I was ready to conquer any workload. They were effective as my career progressed. Increased duties required an increased commitment of my time. My schedule grew beyond 8-5 workdays and started to swallow more time during the week and weekends if I was going to get everything important completed. With the addition of children, the important tasks for them became part of the schedule. Using various colors in my electronic calendar, each week looked like a multi-colored Easter Egg. I was proud of my schedule. I was meeting every obligation to work and family, all the important things.
And I felt miserable.
Why? Because I fell into what I see as a common trap. I had built a masterful quilt of colors to take care of what was important. Any other tasks or events were left for that fantasy world of, “If I have the time”. Well, realistically, I was never going to have the time to do the other things I enjoy. I uttered those phrases that most of us know, “I don’t have enough time!”, “There is too much to do!”, and “There is no time for me.” It was then when my best friend Jay asked me a pointed question: “Who’s fault is that?”
It was my fault. I built and controlled my schedule and filled it with important tasks. It was time to take inventory and look at what I was doing. After some reflection (and a nice long walk in the woods), it dawned on me that what I called “important” were almost all tasks for and responsibilities of others. From work to raising children, to even gaming days with friends, there was almost nothing in my schedule centered on taking care of me.
But there was one outstanding exception: Date night. It was a gift from my father. At the time, Dad was still in practice as an OBGYN. When he delivered our son, Dad had advice for us that he has given to thousands of new moms: “Schedule a date night”. He explained that date night is important because the needs of children can creep into the marriage and supplant the time that a husband and wife need. Around six weeks after our son was born, we designated Friday nights as sacred. After getting the kids down, we would watch Netflix or a DVD movie and just relax together. It was important to our marriage and to each of us, and it was a standing item on our schedules.
I started to change my habits that day. Important things still appeared on my schedule, but now I had a new meaning for important. Time to walk and hike and to play games were added; time to do other things that were not task oriented but fun; time to decompress and time to be alone. It did not take long for me to find I was more relaxed and feeling more at peace. It turns out I did not need to look for a world of “If I have the time.” I could have the time if I allocated it for things that are important.
Scheduling is a powerful tool to manage our most precious resource, time. Thanks to Jay’s question and my father’s advice, I learned to use it wisely.
You can do the same.
Bryan is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and National Certified Counselor (NCC). He has been licensed since June 2000. He is also involved in training new therapists as a Certified Professional Counselor Supervisor (CPCS) since 2011. He earned his Bachelor of Science in 1992 from Florida Tech, and his Master of Arts in Psychology from the Georgia School of Professional Psychology in 1996. Bryan started as a case manager before becoming a therapist, working in community behavioral health, where he practiced as part of a multidisciplinary team consisting of other therapists, case managers, nurses, and doctors. It was in this environment where he learned to treat the large variety of issues brought to the clinic by a diverse population. Bryan currently has a private practice in Marietta Georgia, seeing adults.
