We all know there is a tradition of the “New Year’s Resolution”. People take the new year as a time to make changes in their lives. For many of us, having just eaten more than we should have, it is in regards to weight and health. Regular gym goers brace for the full gyms in January and February before the return to normal. Diets are started and abandoned. Meditation practices are put into place but done by spring. The reality is, we are not great at keeping our resolutions.
As a therapist, I have seen that massive, sweeping change is hard to maintain. Trying to change several habits at once is more work and effort than most of us can keep up. So, we do not maintain, and we give up on change. My advice on this is to go small. Pick one thing and do it. People ask me “What is the best exercise?” and my answer is always “The exercise you will do.” If you want to get into shape, a gym membership and an hour a day work out when you have done nothing of the kind in the past is probably not something you will maintain. Maybe walking 30 minutes a day is within reach. Stop going out to eat lunch at work and bring a sandwich. Leave home 15 minutes earlier to avoid the stress of always being late. Small is manageable. Once you have mastered that, then move to the next small task. Life is a long race, not a sprint. Pace yourself.
Habit stacking is another great way to change. Many people put their workout routine at the same time each day. In the morning before work or stopping at the gym on the way home seem to be prime examples of stacking. I know for me, once I get home from work, I was not going back out to the gym. I get up an hour early to walk in the morning. Do you want to journal each day? Make it a bedtime ritual. The point is, link a new behavior with one you already do every day. The habits merge.
Finally, do not let failure stop you from moving forward. Maybe you did not meditate three days in a row. Today is a new day. Start over. It is easy to fall back into old behaviors, but that does not mean you have to give up and settle back. Give yourself some grace for being human, and get back into the change you want. Celebrate your successful days instead of castigating yourself for the failures. Speaking of which, a celebration journal might be a good habit to add. Just saying.
Good luck and Happy New Year!
