Anxiety is in the news a lot these days, based on the idea that we have more to worry about than in the past. Looking at history, I am not convinced that is the case. I think the difference today is that we are more vocal about dealing with anxiety and depression,
There are many ways people are taught to manage anxiety through coping skills, such as relaxation exercises and meditation. I am a big fan of these, and clients have used them successfully. Getting symptoms under control is a great way to start. Still, in therapy the longer-range plan is to understand and change the sources of anxiety. Afterall, if the anxiety doesn’t exist in the first place, then there is no need to cope with it.
Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher born in 544 b.c. said, “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.” Humans are much like a deep, flowing river. We are the same person, but we change over our lives. What we are aware of in ourselves tends to be the water flowing on the surface, but we are the whole river, top to bottom. The currents and rocks in our depths are as much of us as the water flowing on the surface.
If I might take this metaphor one step further, we can think of anxiety like rapids, caused by submerged rocks and the unknown riverbed. In therapy, what I seek are glimpses of that riverbed and a clear look at those rocks. You see, emotions like anxiety have something to tell us. It is easy to point at anxiety and say, “Well, of course it has something to tell me, I am worried about a specific thing!” For those of us who tend to worry, however, we always find something else to worry about. Like the Rebel Without a Cause, when asked about our anxiety, the answer is, “Whacha’ Got?” We can ask why we worry, but the deeper question is what does that worry want of us?
Our response to anxiety in ourselves and others is to try to make it go away. We can usually do that with some level of success. My experience as a therapist, and as someone who is a card-carrying member of the anxiety club, is that if your anxiety has something to say, it is coming back. What I hope I can help clients learn is to try to let the anxiety have its say. It does not have to be in the driver’s seat, but maybe a passenger in the car.
Often, the area of focus is not the real driver of the emotion. Maybe you are anxious about a promotion at work. The money would be nice, but you don’t really need it; you are doing OK financially. Getting the job would mean more money and more responsibility. Not getting it would mean things continue as they are, which are not that bad. Anxiety about the promotion then is likely more than just about the promotion. Things such as prestige can be on the line. Perhaps the real anxiety is that your career is not going as you had hoped, or you want to provide more for your family, or you are worried about your role as a parent. Or all the above.
Practicing breathing might help the symptoms. Getting the new job my take that worry away for the moment. In my experience there is always something else for the worried mind. If you are not hearing the message of anxiety, it is not going away.
So, if you find yourself feeling anxious, give the anxiety some room to speak. Maybe it has something to say. Everyone has their own coping skills for anxiety.
Bryan is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and National Certified Counselor (NCC). He has been licensed since June 2000. He is also involved in training new therapists as a Certified Professional Counselor Supervisor (CPCS) since 2011. He earned his Bachelor of Science in 1992 from Florida Tech, and his Master of Arts in Psychology from the Georgia School of Professional Psychology in 1996. Bryan started as a case manager before becoming a therapist, working in community behavioral health, where he practiced as part of a multidisciplinary team consisting of other therapists, case managers, nurses, and doctors. It was in this environment where he learned to treat the large variety of issues brought to the clinic by a diverse population. Bryan currently has a private practice in Marietta Georgia, seeing adults.
