Counseling for
DEPRESSION
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Depression is both one of the most common and misunderstood mental health issues today. Everyone has bad days. Everyone has times where we just feel down. For people who are depressed, it is more than just one bad day. Depression has many ways to show itself in your life. Some or all of these may apply to you.
Counseling for
Depression
——
Depression is both one of the most common and misunderstood mental health issues today. Everyone has bad days. Everyone has times where we just feel down. For people who are depressed, it is more than just one bad day. Depression has many ways to show itself in your life. Some or all of these may apply to you.
The old ways to feel better just don’t work anymore
What seems to be the biggest misunderstanding of depression is the idea that you should just be able to shake it off and pull yourself out of it. People without depression do this normally. Almost no one with depression does. Had a bad day? Shake it off. When people tell
you this, you want to yell back “Don’t you think I have tried that?”.
With depression, all the old tricks just don’t work. Yes, going for a walk is nice. No, it does not help. All the old tricks, all the old ways of making yourself feel better now lack the power they once did. It does not mean you are not trying.
Nothing is fun anymore
Not only do the old tricks no longer work, things that used to be fun bring little or no pleasure anymore. Your hobbies are a series of tasks. Entertainment you enjoyed, like movies, books, or favorite television programs no longer brings you joy. Spending time with friends and loved ones feels like a chore that must be done. Even something like sex seems all work and no play. It is as if your world has nothing to savor anymore, and doing anything is like eating flavorless paste.
I just don’t have the energy
Not having enough energy adds to the sense of life being a job. You have enough energy for some of the necessary tasks but not all. You get through work, maybe even well enough no one there knows there is anything wrong. Then you come home and crash, mindlessly watching videos on your phone, or spending hours playing games without thought. You do not go out with friends. You don’t connect with your family who are three feet away. You know you need to be connected to others but you are spent. Maybe tomorrow will be better, but you know if your heart it will be the same.
Your decrease in energy might even be worse. Have you ever had so little energy you have days where you cannot do anything? The weekends, without work responsibilities, are wasted on the couch or in bed. The lack of energy grows worse, making any duties impossible. Even if you normally are able to get the big things accomplished, sometimes your lack of energy makes you feel almost paralyzed.
I literally cannot get out of bed
You are screaming at yourself in your mind “GET UP!” while you lay in bed. You know you have so much to get done. The pressure of things crashes over you. And yet you lay there, unable to even move. This might be a bad day or something that happens most days. If you have significant depression, you have been right here. Other people might have called you lazy. You certainly have.
I am unmotivated to do anything
Feeling lazy goes with your lack of motivation. You are not motivated to do much of anything. Getting started on tasks is hard. The more you think about them, the more overwhelming they are. And it is not like once you have started them, they are easy to complete. Everything is an uphill hike to the top of a mountain with high trees and no good view. Even deciding how to spend your limited energy feels like it takes too much energy. It is almost as if every task feels like being asked to shove your hand into a bucket of ice water. You know you need to get these things done. You berate yourself for your lack of motivation, and some, if not most, of the time, you tell yourself how lazy you are.
I am always sad
Persistent sadness means you are never happy. You struggle to focus on anything else. It is embarrassing to keep breaking into tears. You know there are reasons to be happy but you are always overwhelmed with reasons to be sad.
I am anxious
Anxiety is a close sibling of depression. Unlike those people who sleep too much with their depression, you find sleeping at night a challenge. Your mind races with all that can go wrong at the same time as it beats up on you for how lazy you are.
I don’t have any feelings
Depression of emotions is the core depression. It is if the rainbow of your emotions has been flattened into a brown-gray smear like children mixing all the paint. You do not feel happy. You do not feel sad. You do not feel anything at all. There is no texture of your life, just a crushed smoothness.
I am Hopeless
You feel as if things will never get better. This is how they are. You cannot envision a future where you feel any better than you do today. It is like being on an endless march in the rain. Being hopeless is a normal part of depression. You are drained of energy, everything is a chore, nothing brings you joy, and things never seem to improve. Hope itself feels like a lie. You have had hope before and been disappointed.
I am alone
Depression robs you of the energy and the motivation to reach out and connect to others. You know you need to do it, but you have not. You know every time you tell someone “no” to an invitation, that person is less likely to invite you again. You still say “no” because you just can’t do it. You isolate yourself to spare others your mood and to spare yourself the energy. Without contact, your depression gets worse. Even living with others, you disengage, you withdraw. You are alone with yourself, desperate for connection, with no way to get it.
I am a bad person
Even today, Depression is seen by many as a defect of character. You are lazy. You are weak. You are a loser. You say these things to yourself, even if that is not said by others. You beat yourself up anytime you are not distracted by something else. It is clear to you that no one else will love you because you are so unlovable.
“Would it be better if I were dead?”
The end state of unchecked depression is thoughts of death. The pain of depression is not really living a life, but just existing. With no hope of the pain being removed, death seems like an answer. Death by suicide is a growing problem. Yet, many people contemplate death without planning or actions. Maybe you are thinking about death now, wondering if it is the answer. I promise you; it is not. Take it as your mind telling you how much you need help.
If you have significant plans and are scared, please grab your phone and dial 988. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.
How do we fix this?
If you see yourself in any of these challenges, there is something you and I can do together. I have spent years working with people who struggle with their depression. Depression often means looking into your past. You have no control over the past and we cannot change it. What we can do is put the past into a new context. I will work with you to write a story about today that is not ruled by the narratives of the past. We will work on ways to give you a sense of power, a sense of place, and a sense of value for today. With understanding you choose what you want to do differently in your future.
The tales you tell yourself reinforce your depression. By uncovering them, understanding their origins, I will help you to rewrite them. You are not worthless and unlovable. You have something to offer the world. We will develop coping skills to manage your thoughts and redirect them. We will find things to feed your spirit to revitalize you. We will explore the darker parts of you and discover what you need to be loved.
None of this is going to be easy. I can promise you will be uncomfortable. Confronting the things we most dislike about ourselves is the hardest work we can do. Burying the parts you do not like has robbed you of knowing let alone embracing the noble ones. You do not have to do this alone. I will be with you to keep you safe. As your therapist, I am there as a guide. I am not part of your family. I am not a friend. I stand outside your day to day life. You will have the opportunity to be open, vulnerable, and scared with me in a place with no moral condemnation, no castigation of weakness, and no judgment. I will stand up for you, even when you do not want to stand up for yourself. I will help you acknowledge the good in you, when you are focused on the bad. It will be hard and I know you can do it, like the many people I have seen walk the same road.
I want to take a quick moment to mention medication. In my experience, the best treatment for depression is a combination of therapy and medication. This does not mean you have to be on any sort of medication in order for us to work together. It does mean I will suggest an evaluation if I think it will help you.
What does “better”
look like?
Depression results in an increasing disconnection from life. As it worsens, there is a general retreat from everything and everyone in your life. As you improve this disconnection will reverse. You will become more engaged with living.
You will have more control over your thoughts you tell yourself. Instead of being driven by the old stories, your new narrative will be casting the world and you into a more realistic light. You will be able to spend more time focused on the present, instead of ruminating about the past. You will approach the world with more confidence in yourself.
We will explore ways to direct your limited energy in the best ways possible so that you can do the really important things. We will find ways to communicate your needs with your loved ones so they can support you. We will develop strategies for taking on those daunting tasks. You will have new ways to move yourself to action. You will have more energy to say “yes” to opportunities. There will be a restoration of old interests, or perhaps, you will find new ones. While there will still be chores and things you do not want to do, you will have the motivation to get them done.
Most importantly, when depression still crashes over you like a wave, pinning you in the sand, you will give yourself grace, knowing that the wave will pass, and you will again stand up and breathe. You are a unique person and you have something to offer the world. Let’s find that in you together.
Therapists providing
counseling in Atlanta
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988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
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